We all dream of a healthy, shiny and thick hair. We all try to follow religiously a hair routine that involves; shampooing, conditioning and styling. But when was the last time you gave your hair and scalp a deep cleanse and detox?


A year ago I didn’t know pretty much how to properly take care of my hair. Coming from Kenya all I knew was shampooing and the shampoos I used were full of sulfates, then conditioning and oiling. And I considered that a pretty solid hair routine. A year later I’m proud to say that I know how to properly take care of my hair and identify what’s good and what’s not good for my hair.


Stuck between wanting to feel that type of love again  and not wanting to feel that type of hurt again. The battle between my mind and heart is unending. I am so used to building walls greater than the wall of China, so used to closing my heart every time I had a bad experience. But whilst I am closing my heart I’m not allowing myself to let go of the things that hurt me and let it in new and better things. Choosing the wrong people over the years has made me question my ability to choose the right people. But sometimes it’s hard to know who you’re truly allowing in your life because some people come clothed in all things that seem perfect to you. But the devil too gives you what you desire. 

Past hurt made me close my heart and never allow anyone close to it. I become so defensive that I push everyone to protect it. But this act of defense has made me push away those that love me including my family and in the end hurting them. I’ve dwelled in my pain for so long that I doubt I know what happiness truly feels like. I’m so scared of people who show me light because I’m so used to darkness.

And that’s the tragedy of us humans. It’s not the darkness that frightens the most but the light. We don’t want to hold the hand that takes us from darkness to light, we don’t want to go from something we’ve known our whole life to unknown. 

I’ve always believed that my past was what made me who I am and that might be somehow true but I’m different from the old me. If I allowed what I experienced to define who I am as a person I think I wouldn’t want to meet that me. I’m grateful for my past but going back and forth with it isn’t really my cup of tea. 
So I choose to open my heart not only to allow love in but to also let go of pain. Letting go is hard trust me, especially letting go of someone you love but darling you can’t hold on to people or things that no longer serve a purpose in your life. In as much as I’m afraid of falling, I’m not going to deny my heart to feel. I’m not going to let people who aren’t ready to share love with me make me afraid of loving. I’m sorry to all those that I’ve pushed away but I hope you can understand why I did what I felt was right. 

Love is what can save us all but we can’t be so scared of it just because of our past hurt and deny it access to our lives. Love is what makes the world go round.  


Have you ever sat in your room and notice all the clutter that is there and you start planning on decluttering your room? You begin to sort out things you want to toss or donate and the ones you want to keep.

But decluttering isn’t just about sorting things out and tossing them out. It’s about taking stock of who you are and how others see you. It’s a chance to redefine yourself, change your expectations, it’s a time to just stop existing to start living and to feel happiness living in the environment you’re in. 

It is important to declutter the negativity in your life. The negative thoughts and feelings that creep over everything and paralyze your progress. Eliminating the harsh thoughts and poison ideas popping up in your head consistently is beneficial. Not allowing that negative self-talk to envelope your mind is a key factor to a stable mental health. This process is not as easy as it seems but trust me it’s definitely worth it and you just have to believe it can be done. 

The next thing you should do during this process is separating out your own bad behaviors and toxic traits because we’re all guilty of possessing toxic traits. One of the things I’m trying to get rid of is my procrastination which makes me counterproductive. I think I’d win a Grammy for that. 

It’s also important to note and eradicate the old ideas that effect our actions. For instance, I catch myself thinking negative things about myself like, "how I’m undeserving of love and happiness since majority of life has been filled with pain and hurt". But I deserve all the love and happiness life has to offer. 

Finally, decluttering people is important too. Some people are plain toxic and staying around toxic people can rub on you too. Get rid of that family member who only criticizes, that romantic partner who doesn’t show you respect, that condescending friend who has nothing good to say. Some people hinder your progress in life and tolerating them for the sake of a feel of friendship or kinship or the promise of acceptance isn’t worth it. Start assessing how people truly make you feel, how good your relationship is if you didn’t reach out, how you feel after hanging out with them, have you established healthy boundaries and do they respect them? How do you show up for each other? Is it balanced? 

In the process of 'Decluttering’ try and apply the KonMari method, have gratitude for the things and people you’re letting go and only keep those that spark joy. 

“When you come across something that you can’t part with, think carefully about its true purpose in your life. You’ll be surprised at how many things you possess have already fulfilled their role. By acknowledging their contribution and letting them go with gratitude, you will be able to put the things you own and your life in order. In the end all that will remain are the things you truly treasure. To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.” -extract from ‘The life-changing magic of tidying up’ by Marie Kondo. 


I waited for days and months for you to come back. I waited for your call and tell me that this was just a phase of life. But you didn’t.

I remember spending days wondering if you’ll ever come home. But I became hopeless day by day. I stopped waiting for your call, I stopped waiting for you to come back and finally stay. I spent my days asking my mum irrelevant questions like, "will everything be okay?" She always answered me politely with a "Yes" until one day she hugged me tightly and whispered "No"

It left me constantly to wonder if there was  something I had done and how I could fix it. Maybe if I’d call you you’d listen to me and come back. And so I did but you didn’t sound like my father at all and you cut the conversation short. You didn’t even say goodbye. You can never imagine how unsaid goodbyes haunted me for years. I thought you loved me but you simply abandoned me. You were the one who taught me that love doesn’t exist, whereas my mum constantly reminded me that it does. I was torn between two realities. 

One day I decided to no longer wait for you. I lost faith in men and became insecure when people told me that they love me. Because I remember you telling me the same, but you left. I lost trust in relationships and friendships and even now I find it very hard to share my feelings with anyone. 

A girl’s her Dad’s princess but not always. One day when I’ll get married I’ll make sure my man isn’t a reflection of you because you missed out on someone great and wonderful. 

 I’d like to thank you for letting me love my mum in a way I never did when you were around. Thank you for teaching me that it’s better to let go of some things and not every relationship lasts. Thank you for leaving because I would never have understood life. Thank you for being the pain because without you I wouldn’t have known the beauty of healing. But most of all I’d like to thank you for teaching me to let go of anything that isn’t mine. I let go of you, dad. 


It’s in these silent moments after a long day where I realize how alone I actually am. 
How I have so much to say but no one to listen. 
I don’t have anyone to tell my daily antics or how my day generally was and ask how their day was too. 
They are right when they say you truly realize how lonely you are at these moments. 
It’s like you sit in this room full of darkness and cry your eyes out till you’re absolutely numb. 
You begin to wonder if the problem is you and ask yourself 101 questions as to why you feel so incomplete and why can’t you be your own best friend? 
But then it comes down to the fact that how long? How long are you going to talk to yourself and please yourself everyday? 
We all need someone believe it or not and sometimes the person we always think about is simply out of reach. 
We all have ears but some of us choose not to listen. 
We all have hearts but hardly any work the same and it’s hard to find a heart which work the same as yours. 
So you beat yourself up over this silently, over the fact that you have everyone around but not a single person to tell your soul to. 

Pain and Loneliness

Ever felt pain? Ever felt lonely? No?
Then let me tell you what real pain and loneliness feels like.
It’s the middle of the night, there’s a storm inside your head, an ocean of feelings inside of you, tears about to run down your face but you still pretend to stay strong. You know from inside that you’re already broken and shattered into pieces.

Every time you look at your reflection in the mirror you see the scars, the tears and you realize that you’re on the verge of letting go but you still try to fight.

When you have to give up on something or someone but that something or someone is what you really want and yet you have to give up on that.
Ever been so desperate to want to talk to someone but you can’t message that someone for you know there’s no option? Trust me I know that feeling! 

I know what it feels to be lonely!
When you have more than a hundred contacts and yet no one to talk to. More than 7 billion in the world but no shoulder to lean on. When you pretend that you aren’t lonely and yet you are.

It’s dead dark in the night when you have the urge to write what’s inside of you and yet you can’t. 

There are stories inside of you that the pen doesn’t have the gut to pen down and the paper can’t handle the weight. That is what real pain and loneliness feels like.