I usually discover new places through people and this place is just one of them. And in my defense it is one of my favorite places if you want to chill in my city Eldoret. One Friday evening, my body was itching to go out and interact with other human beings other than my family and also make some bad decisions wink wink. I hope my family won’t read that part lol. So my aunty called me to take me out for some few drinks and to enjoy the company of my friends company. The perks of having cool aunties is that dear friends.


So my friends flew all the way from Nigeria to visit me and also gave me the best birthday celebration. I am a lucky girl, aren’t I? So I had to give them the best Kenyan experience so they will enjoy their stay in Kenya . Turning 22 was such a big milestone for me and there are some lessons I picked over the 22 years which you can read them here.


Hello my loves, welcome back to my blog. If you’re new here you’re very welcome and if you’re a returning reader I want to say thank you for coming back. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I am such a DIY enthusiast and I love experimenting on my hair, fingers crossed of course hopefully I don’t lose my hair anytime soon.


I’ve debated  for a long while about writing about this because the last thing I want is to look like I want sympathy or attention, but I’m mainly doing this for myself and for those who can relate to my story. PCOS can be isolating, and I don’t want anyone to feel as though they are alone.


I recently celebrated my birthday on the 27th September and throughout my 22 years I’ve learnt a lot. In as much as it’s a new year for me, I can’t help but look back at all the things I’ve learnt in my life. I believe looking back at your life and realizing everything you’ve been through and all the lessons you’ve learned is an important step before moving forward.


We live in an era where everything can get detoxed from your diet to your tech habits. But usually armpits are often neglected and can cause body odor especially if you workout or stay in humid environment. Most people are usually conscious about their armpit area and they often end up switching from different deodorants spoiling their armpits furthermore. It is important to detox your armpit from time to time to keep the clean and odor-free and also to prevent bacterial growth and other infections.


Hello, I am Dr. Jeniffer Ogolo, founder of the Velveteenyou healthy hair and all rounded effective cosmetic brand. Our aim is to merge the Nature & Nurture (instead of "VS") method. This in simple terms means working with the nature of your hair, genetics, growth rate etc. and nurturing it with proper information, right methods and products to get your hair to the very best it can be.

Thank you, Naliaka for this awesome opportunity, I am really ecstatic to spend time with you here.


I decided to interview my friend Amblessed who I've witnessed her transitioning from relaxed hair to a beautiful healthy crown. The girl's hair is amazing and it's an eye catcher every time she walks in the room. I prepared a few questions for her so we would get insight on her transitioning journey because a lot of people usually ask me the first steps to step when transitioning and I don't have any idea because I've never relaxed my hair. It was best I get information from someone who has.


First of all, Naliaka, I am so grateful for this honour. Thank you for recognizing the work that I do at my blog and inviting me to add on to the amazing work you do on this platform. You write so openly and vulnerably and my goal is to keep it as authentic as you do.


Dating in my generation has become a scary experience and something that is not taken with the seriousness it deserves. Ever since I was a child, I desired to fall in love with one person and grow with that same person till our teeth fell out. Growing up I began seeing how adults relate with each other and I encountered people who didn't believe in love and in a lifelong partnership. What's worse is my generation makes modern dating look like something you'd want to steer clear from.

Self-Care is More than Just Bath Bombs and Face Masks

Hi, my name is Ursula and I am here as a guest writer. I want to say a big thank you to my friend Naliaka Brenda for giving me a piece of her space on her blog to share my thoughts. This article is going to talk about a few things I believe are important to consider when we talk about self-care.


Almost loving you was quite possibly the most painful experience of my life. It was most definitely more painful than getting my heart broken in many ways. To me almost is the saddest word in my dictionary. Being so close to something or someone and not actually attaining it can be infuriating.


I have a love-hate relationship when it comes to wash days. I love washing my hair but I also don't like the process because it's usually takes time and a lot of arm workouts. The number of times I procrastinate my wash days is uncountable. At some point I usually end up not washing my hair for three weeks because the spirit might be willing but the body is weak.



Hey beautiful people welcome back. Today's blog is about my honest review about rice water. I'm a DIY natural hair enthusiast so I had to try this to see if it is worth the hype.

Asian women have been using rice water for their hair and skin for centuries. The Yao ethnic women from the village of Huangluo in China are a testament to this tradition. With their average hair length of about 6ft, these women made it to the Guinness Book of World Records as the 'World's longest hair village'. Furthermore, the Yao women believe that the fermented rice water they use to cleanse their hair, is what helps to keep their hair long, dark and clean.



Hey beautiful people this post will help you understand the basic steps of starting a blog.

What’s that spark of blogging that makes people want to start a blog? 
Blogging gives an individual a voice, exposure, career, audience and money. 
Blogging is something that has been happening for years but a lot of people still don’t know about it and how to take the first step of creating a blog.


I’ve always struggled with honesty despite my many attempts to be but frankly speaking it was difficult. Growing up in a dysfunctional family I had learnt how to brush my feelings under the rug because I didn’t think they were important. I learnt how to compartmentalize my feelings and painted a thick coat of pretty on every fear that besieged me. When asked how I was doing, the simple answer “fine” or “great” would ward off further inquisition.


Swimsuit is almost here ladies and I’m sure most of y’all  have been working hard to get that summer body so I bet you must be ready to flaunt your bodies in swimsuits sipping mimosas to cool off the summer heat. 
While swimsuit season can be exciting it can turn into instant horror when you see those angry butt acne staring back at you. We all have them so it’s perfectly normal. 


Behind these closed doors, 
I’ve known both joy and sorrow
I’ve cried my eyes out until they were puffy but no one would notice because I had mastered the art of faking it. I think I deserve a Grammy for that. 
Behind closed doors I've put a sad face but I’d feign a smile on my face once I stepped outside.
I’ve laughed at my own inside jokes because no one would get them other than me. I actually think I can be a comedian... lol jokes on me

It’s behind these closed doors that I’ve curated my own death so perfectly that it scares me because I’m not afraid of death.  
Behind these closed doors I’ve seen suffering which the world doesn’t know about and I don't think they'll ever know. 
I’ve suffered from depression silently because anxiety told me that I didn’t need to confide in anyone and I was just a bother to mankind. Depression can be a pain in the ass. 

Behind these closed doors I’ve fought demons with every single strength I’ve because I was tired of them tormenting me.
Behind these closed doors I’ve questioned God to the point of almost losing faith
I’ve questioned why I was even a believer to a God that allowed His children to suffer.

Behind these closed doors I’ve experienced pain from heartbreak from the people that said those four letter words that have become something I fear 
Behind these closed doors I’ve experienced love that deemed impossible because it was too good to be true

Behind these closed doors I’ve screamed so loud but nobody could hear.
Behind these closed doors I’ve died and I’ve lived.
Because behind these closed doors I’ve learnt to put my broken pieces by myself.
There are stories I don’t have the heart to tell, stories that I’m too scared to let them out of my mouth because reliving them is shattering. 

If you read my stories and you feel nothing but pity for me then you’re at a loss
These stories are testimonies that I’ve survived through the worst but I’m still here
I can’t feign perfection because I’m human.
I’m done apologizing for not needing anyone because I learnt to be there for myself.


I wish this was easy to write but it’s not. Forgiving myself for such an atrocious act wasn’t as easy as reciting my ABCs. I spent months mentally torturing myself on why I did it. I tried to justified my actions and play the victim so I wouldn’t feel guilty about my actions but my guilty conscience tore me to pieces. 

I said I loved you so why did I do it? Saying I love you wasn’t something I wanted to say out of habit. I said I love you to remind you that my love was going to be your source of light to guide you out of darkness. I said I love you to remind you that you weren’t alone in this world. I said I love you to remind you that you were loved on days you felt less loved. I said I love you because I wanted to say those words and match my actions to it because you meant more to me than you could ever imagine. You were my best friend, my lover and my home. 

But love wasn’t enough but I wanted so badly for it to be. I got tired at some point, everyone has a breaking point you know! We were already at a rocky point in our love life and I was tired of the constant lies and inconsistencies. When we got separated from each other it tore my heart, you were my home and you being away left me cold and lonely. We promised each other that distance wouldn’t be a barrier and nothing would ever separate us. Argh! The lies we tell ourselves. 

The first two months of you being away were okay or so I thought because we still kept constant communication, our never ending FaceTime calls, our cheesy texts to each other. And all that made me feel like the distance between us wasn’t a bad thing after all . Then our communication started fading and the 'insecurities' kicked in. My mind started formulating a million different reasons why we were drifting away. 

Distance can be a nightmare trust me especially when everything seems to be falling apart. I couldn’t help but to feed myself with assumptions about how you must have already replaced me with someone who wasn’t even half the person I was. I began reliving everything you had done and it drove me crazy. If you had done it before what was stopping you from doing it again? 

It just took a single reply to a text that I thought was innocent to sign my act of betrayal. I had chosen to stoop to your level and I thought if I could hurt you like you did to me it would make it all better but it didn’t. Cheating isn’t my cup of tea but it still baffles me as to why I did it. Stuck in a generation where such an atrocious act is considered a norm I didn’t feel like it was a normal thing to do. Even if he didn’t find out what I did the guilt was unbearable. 

No one deserves to be cheated on because cheating destroys ones view on love and relationship. Getting revenge on a cheater makes it even worse. Just because someone wronged you doesn’t mean you should stoop to their level. 


The skin is the largest organ of the body and being the largest it requires to be well taken care of. Taking of care of the skin is important as it ensures that we maintain a youthful and glowing skin even as we age. Having a skincare routine and sticking to it is essential and trust me your skin will thank you for it. 


We all dream of a healthy, shiny and thick hair. We all try to follow religiously a hair routine that involves; shampooing, conditioning and styling. But when was the last time you gave your hair and scalp a deep cleanse and detox?


A year ago I didn’t know pretty much how to properly take care of my hair. Coming from Kenya all I knew was shampooing and the shampoos I used were full of sulfates, then conditioning and oiling. And I considered that a pretty solid hair routine. A year later I’m proud to say that I know how to properly take care of my hair and identify what’s good and what’s not good for my hair.


Stuck between wanting to feel that type of love again  and not wanting to feel that type of hurt again. The battle between my mind and heart is unending. I am so used to building walls greater than the wall of China, so used to closing my heart every time I had a bad experience. But whilst I am closing my heart I’m not allowing myself to let go of the things that hurt me and let it in new and better things. Choosing the wrong people over the years has made me question my ability to choose the right people. But sometimes it’s hard to know who you’re truly allowing in your life because some people come clothed in all things that seem perfect to you. But the devil too gives you what you desire. 

Past hurt made me close my heart and never allow anyone close to it. I become so defensive that I push everyone to protect it. But this act of defense has made me push away those that love me including my family and in the end hurting them. I’ve dwelled in my pain for so long that I doubt I know what happiness truly feels like. I’m so scared of people who show me light because I’m so used to darkness.

And that’s the tragedy of us humans. It’s not the darkness that frightens the most but the light. We don’t want to hold the hand that takes us from darkness to light, we don’t want to go from something we’ve known our whole life to unknown. 

I’ve always believed that my past was what made me who I am and that might be somehow true but I’m different from the old me. If I allowed what I experienced to define who I am as a person I think I wouldn’t want to meet that me. I’m grateful for my past but going back and forth with it isn’t really my cup of tea. 
So I choose to open my heart not only to allow love in but to also let go of pain. Letting go is hard trust me, especially letting go of someone you love but darling you can’t hold on to people or things that no longer serve a purpose in your life. In as much as I’m afraid of falling, I’m not going to deny my heart to feel. I’m not going to let people who aren’t ready to share love with me make me afraid of loving. I’m sorry to all those that I’ve pushed away but I hope you can understand why I did what I felt was right. 

Love is what can save us all but we can’t be so scared of it just because of our past hurt and deny it access to our lives. Love is what makes the world go round.  


Have you ever sat in your room and notice all the clutter that is there and you start planning on decluttering your room? You begin to sort out things you want to toss or donate and the ones you want to keep.

But decluttering isn’t just about sorting things out and tossing them out. It’s about taking stock of who you are and how others see you. It’s a chance to redefine yourself, change your expectations, it’s a time to just stop existing to start living and to feel happiness living in the environment you’re in. 

It is important to declutter the negativity in your life. The negative thoughts and feelings that creep over everything and paralyze your progress. Eliminating the harsh thoughts and poison ideas popping up in your head consistently is beneficial. Not allowing that negative self-talk to envelope your mind is a key factor to a stable mental health. This process is not as easy as it seems but trust me it’s definitely worth it and you just have to believe it can be done. 

The next thing you should do during this process is separating out your own bad behaviors and toxic traits because we’re all guilty of possessing toxic traits. One of the things I’m trying to get rid of is my procrastination which makes me counterproductive. I think I’d win a Grammy for that. 

It’s also important to note and eradicate the old ideas that effect our actions. For instance, I catch myself thinking negative things about myself like, "how I’m undeserving of love and happiness since majority of life has been filled with pain and hurt". But I deserve all the love and happiness life has to offer. 

Finally, decluttering people is important too. Some people are plain toxic and staying around toxic people can rub on you too. Get rid of that family member who only criticizes, that romantic partner who doesn’t show you respect, that condescending friend who has nothing good to say. Some people hinder your progress in life and tolerating them for the sake of a feel of friendship or kinship or the promise of acceptance isn’t worth it. Start assessing how people truly make you feel, how good your relationship is if you didn’t reach out, how you feel after hanging out with them, have you established healthy boundaries and do they respect them? How do you show up for each other? Is it balanced? 

In the process of 'Decluttering’ try and apply the KonMari method, have gratitude for the things and people you’re letting go and only keep those that spark joy. 

“When you come across something that you can’t part with, think carefully about its true purpose in your life. You’ll be surprised at how many things you possess have already fulfilled their role. By acknowledging their contribution and letting them go with gratitude, you will be able to put the things you own and your life in order. In the end all that will remain are the things you truly treasure. To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.” -extract from ‘The life-changing magic of tidying up’ by Marie Kondo. 


I waited for days and months for you to come back. I waited for your call and tell me that this was just a phase of life. But you didn’t.

I remember spending days wondering if you’ll ever come home. But I became hopeless day by day. I stopped waiting for your call, I stopped waiting for you to come back and finally stay. I spent my days asking my mum irrelevant questions like, "will everything be okay?" She always answered me politely with a "Yes" until one day she hugged me tightly and whispered "No"

It left me constantly to wonder if there was  something I had done and how I could fix it. Maybe if I’d call you you’d listen to me and come back. And so I did but you didn’t sound like my father at all and you cut the conversation short. You didn’t even say goodbye. You can never imagine how unsaid goodbyes haunted me for years. I thought you loved me but you simply abandoned me. You were the one who taught me that love doesn’t exist, whereas my mum constantly reminded me that it does. I was torn between two realities. 

One day I decided to no longer wait for you. I lost faith in men and became insecure when people told me that they love me. Because I remember you telling me the same, but you left. I lost trust in relationships and friendships and even now I find it very hard to share my feelings with anyone. 

A girl’s her Dad’s princess but not always. One day when I’ll get married I’ll make sure my man isn’t a reflection of you because you missed out on someone great and wonderful. 

 I’d like to thank you for letting me love my mum in a way I never did when you were around. Thank you for teaching me that it’s better to let go of some things and not every relationship lasts. Thank you for leaving because I would never have understood life. Thank you for being the pain because without you I wouldn’t have known the beauty of healing. But most of all I’d like to thank you for teaching me to let go of anything that isn’t mine. I let go of you, dad. 


It’s in these silent moments after a long day where I realize how alone I actually am. 
How I have so much to say but no one to listen. 
I don’t have anyone to tell my daily antics or how my day generally was and ask how their day was too. 
They are right when they say you truly realize how lonely you are at these moments. 
It’s like you sit in this room full of darkness and cry your eyes out till you’re absolutely numb. 
You begin to wonder if the problem is you and ask yourself 101 questions as to why you feel so incomplete and why can’t you be your own best friend? 
But then it comes down to the fact that how long? How long are you going to talk to yourself and please yourself everyday? 
We all need someone believe it or not and sometimes the person we always think about is simply out of reach. 
We all have ears but some of us choose not to listen. 
We all have hearts but hardly any work the same and it’s hard to find a heart which work the same as yours. 
So you beat yourself up over this silently, over the fact that you have everyone around but not a single person to tell your soul to. 

Pain and Loneliness

Ever felt pain? Ever felt lonely? No?
Then let me tell you what real pain and loneliness feels like.
It’s the middle of the night, there’s a storm inside your head, an ocean of feelings inside of you, tears about to run down your face but you still pretend to stay strong. You know from inside that you’re already broken and shattered into pieces.

Every time you look at your reflection in the mirror you see the scars, the tears and you realize that you’re on the verge of letting go but you still try to fight.

When you have to give up on something or someone but that something or someone is what you really want and yet you have to give up on that.
Ever been so desperate to want to talk to someone but you can’t message that someone for you know there’s no option? Trust me I know that feeling! 

I know what it feels to be lonely!
When you have more than a hundred contacts and yet no one to talk to. More than 7 billion in the world but no shoulder to lean on. When you pretend that you aren’t lonely and yet you are.

It’s dead dark in the night when you have the urge to write what’s inside of you and yet you can’t. 

There are stories inside of you that the pen doesn’t have the gut to pen down and the paper can’t handle the weight. That is what real pain and loneliness feels like. 


It’s said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime and each of these loves are for a different reason. And I have been privileged to fall in love with two people.

First it was my very long best friend who we are no longer close like we used. And people told me that I was too young to understand what love was and all that I felt was infatuation. I believed that that was going to be my only love and that was what love was supposed to be. It took me four years to accept that what we thought would be would’ve never been.

My second and most recent love was quite overwhelming because this love was my hardest. This love came with a lot of lessons and it was an emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, I stuck through the lows with the expectation of the high.

I had fallen so hard and deep for this guy, his smile, his laugh, his imperfections, his everything. It was as if love was brewed in the morning, fresh and breathtaking. His love was like whiskey, it warmed my heart and left me craving for more. It was the perfect balance of straight, edgy and crazy. I didn’t know my capacity to love until I loved him.  I didn’t know how beautiful broken crayons colored until I met him. He made me laugh a little harder, he hugged me a little tighter and I fell a little harder. Love felt so right it didn’t feel real. 

Memories are wonderful but sometimes they can be devastating.

This love taught me about how I wanted and needed to be loved. It taught me to never settle for less and taught me how to love myself. 

My third and final love, the love I’m yet to experience and the one I’ll never see it coming. The one that will come so easy it won’t seem possible. The kind where the connection can’t be explained and will knock me off my feet because I never planned for it. It will just be two people who are tired of having to try and having their broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is something inherently wrong with how they love. But this kind of love will remind us why it never worked out before. The love that will feel like home and resonate with our souls. 

Darling, it’s this possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile because I’ll never know when I’ll stumble into love.

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.


I’m still bleeding from your absence. Walking away from you wasn’t easy but it was necessary. I had never imagined myself walking away from you because of how much I loved you but the sad reality was my love didn’t mean much to you like it did to me. And to be honest I don’t blame you. I got tired of the inconsistencies, the 'I love yous today' and 'I don’t love yous tomorrow'. 
I never knew how intoxicated I was until I freed myself from you. Walking away wasn’t easy and there were days I wished I could walk back to your life and pretend that we were fine even though we weren’t. But how much longer did I want to live in a fairytale instead of the real thing? How much longer would I have to keep up with the wishful thinking? 
I loved you so much to the extent I made excuses for all the red flags that were evidently there but I chose to ignore them and gave you chance after chance. But it’s true about what they say about chances... the more chances you give a person the less respect they’ll give you.
Walking away made me realize how stupid I was to beg you for the things I should have been receiving freely. It made me realize that I should always follow my gut instincts and never ignore the red flags. It made me realize to never create illusions inside my head and paint over something that’s already in black and white.
It wasn’t easy walking away because I felt like I was losing a part of me but what I didn’t realize was I had already lost a part of me in the process of keeping you.
I’m not trying to put the blame on you because I also played a role in this too.
From the beginning, I told you about my demons and my darkest truths and you promised to never take me back to that dark road but look where you left me.... on the same road you promised not to take me back to. I guess you couldn’t keep your promises.
I’m that person that doesn’t throw words around like they’re nothing so you have to understand that when I said I loved you and I’d be always there for you I truly meant it. 
To be honest even when I’m writing this I still do love you but I rather love you from a distance. I’ve never loved a guy the way I loved you and I’m not sure I’ll ever love anyone the way I loved you but there’s a possibility I might do but I don’t want to live life romanticizing about it. 
You ripped my heart to millions of pieces and putting them back hasn’t been an easy task but I’m taking it one day at a time. Frankly speaking, there was a point I hated you more than I loved you because the memories were unbearable. A point where I regretted ever meeting you and ever loving you but what good does that do? You were a lesson that I had to learn the hardest. You were an experience that’ll be unforgettable and a source of reference. I had to embrace the pain in order to learn how to move on.
Moving on hasn’t been easy because you left me feeling incomplete, made me second guess myself because of the inconsistencies. You made me look at myself in the mirror different. You left me with a hole in my heart deeper than the ocean. 
You made me question everything I was told and drive myself crazy by overthinking everything. 
I wish I could make you feel the pain I’m feeling so we could be equal. I want you to feel how it feels to have your heart ripped from you multiple times without a care in the world. I want you to feel that incruciating pain that I felt. I hate that I love you. But losing you was a blessing because it was the start of loving myself. 

By Naliaka. 


Hey beautiful people, welcome to my blog. I'm excited to have y'all here.
Today's post is about the Aztec Indian healing Clay Hair Mask.

I've personally been using this hair mask for quite sometime and I personally love it. Ever since I discovered it, I've never used shampoo again. The  benefits that come with it are amazing.