Swimsuit is almost here ladies and I’m sure most of y’all  have been working hard to get that summer body so I bet you must be ready to flaunt your bodies in swimsuits sipping mimosas to cool off the summer heat. 
While swimsuit season can be exciting it can turn into instant horror when you see those angry butt acne staring back at you. We all have them so it’s perfectly normal. 


Behind these closed doors, 
I’ve known both joy and sorrow
I’ve cried my eyes out until they were puffy but no one would notice because I had mastered the art of faking it. I think I deserve a Grammy for that. 
Behind closed doors I've put a sad face but I’d feign a smile on my face once I stepped outside.
I’ve laughed at my own inside jokes because no one would get them other than me. I actually think I can be a comedian... lol jokes on me

It’s behind these closed doors that I’ve curated my own death so perfectly that it scares me because I’m not afraid of death.  
Behind these closed doors I’ve seen suffering which the world doesn’t know about and I don't think they'll ever know. 
I’ve suffered from depression silently because anxiety told me that I didn’t need to confide in anyone and I was just a bother to mankind. Depression can be a pain in the ass. 

Behind these closed doors I’ve fought demons with every single strength I’ve because I was tired of them tormenting me.
Behind these closed doors I’ve questioned God to the point of almost losing faith
I’ve questioned why I was even a believer to a God that allowed His children to suffer.

Behind these closed doors I’ve experienced pain from heartbreak from the people that said those four letter words that have become something I fear 
Behind these closed doors I’ve experienced love that deemed impossible because it was too good to be true

Behind these closed doors I’ve screamed so loud but nobody could hear.
Behind these closed doors I’ve died and I’ve lived.
Because behind these closed doors I’ve learnt to put my broken pieces by myself.
There are stories I don’t have the heart to tell, stories that I’m too scared to let them out of my mouth because reliving them is shattering. 

If you read my stories and you feel nothing but pity for me then you’re at a loss
These stories are testimonies that I’ve survived through the worst but I’m still here
I can’t feign perfection because I’m human.
I’m done apologizing for not needing anyone because I learnt to be there for myself.


I wish this was easy to write but it’s not. Forgiving myself for such an atrocious act wasn’t as easy as reciting my ABCs. I spent months mentally torturing myself on why I did it. I tried to justified my actions and play the victim so I wouldn’t feel guilty about my actions but my guilty conscience tore me to pieces. 

I said I loved you so why did I do it? Saying I love you wasn’t something I wanted to say out of habit. I said I love you to remind you that my love was going to be your source of light to guide you out of darkness. I said I love you to remind you that you weren’t alone in this world. I said I love you to remind you that you were loved on days you felt less loved. I said I love you because I wanted to say those words and match my actions to it because you meant more to me than you could ever imagine. You were my best friend, my lover and my home. 

But love wasn’t enough but I wanted so badly for it to be. I got tired at some point, everyone has a breaking point you know! We were already at a rocky point in our love life and I was tired of the constant lies and inconsistencies. When we got separated from each other it tore my heart, you were my home and you being away left me cold and lonely. We promised each other that distance wouldn’t be a barrier and nothing would ever separate us. Argh! The lies we tell ourselves. 

The first two months of you being away were okay or so I thought because we still kept constant communication, our never ending FaceTime calls, our cheesy texts to each other. And all that made me feel like the distance between us wasn’t a bad thing after all . Then our communication started fading and the 'insecurities' kicked in. My mind started formulating a million different reasons why we were drifting away. 

Distance can be a nightmare trust me especially when everything seems to be falling apart. I couldn’t help but to feed myself with assumptions about how you must have already replaced me with someone who wasn’t even half the person I was. I began reliving everything you had done and it drove me crazy. If you had done it before what was stopping you from doing it again? 

It just took a single reply to a text that I thought was innocent to sign my act of betrayal. I had chosen to stoop to your level and I thought if I could hurt you like you did to me it would make it all better but it didn’t. Cheating isn’t my cup of tea but it still baffles me as to why I did it. Stuck in a generation where such an atrocious act is considered a norm I didn’t feel like it was a normal thing to do. Even if he didn’t find out what I did the guilt was unbearable. 

No one deserves to be cheated on because cheating destroys ones view on love and relationship. Getting revenge on a cheater makes it even worse. Just because someone wronged you doesn’t mean you should stoop to their level. 


The skin is the largest organ of the body and being the largest it requires to be well taken care of. Taking of care of the skin is important as it ensures that we maintain a youthful and glowing skin even as we age. Having a skincare routine and sticking to it is essential and trust me your skin will thank you for it.